ABOUT ME!
Well there's not much to tell!
I'm a 40 year old single mummy, and most definitely not a yummy one. Most mums on the school run look lovely, polished, made up, ready to begin their day after the hell of playground duty. Me? I'm usually dressed in the closest thing I can lay my hands on, with my hair wider than Crystal Tipps (Google it if you're too young to remember!), some kind of stain on my top, possibly a hole in an item of clothing and completely inappropriate outerwear. Coat in summer, cardigan in winter, I never quite get it right...
I have 3 beautiful children who light up my life and drive me insane in equal measures. They are aged 5 (let's call her Satan), 7 (this one's Mental), and 10 (he's Sensible. thank God one of them is)! I changed their names for identification purposes but also as I can't remember their names on any given day. We also have 3 cats and a dog. My house and nerves are a wreck. But they are also highly entertaining.
For the sake of not being sued I will change the names of anyone that features in my daily life and I also reserve the right to be overly dramatic about my everyday life because otherwise it would be pretty boring! Plus, I am also a drama queen.
This is not the blog of a Mum who irons all the uniforms on time, has the kids in bed on the dot, is a member of the PTA and bakes cakes for the school Christmas Fair, all whilst looking fabulous and popular! This is the blog of a Mum who takes shortcuts, who ignores dust (if you can't see it, it doesn't exist!), who is Queen of the Wet-Wipe-Wash, who thinks just actually leaving the house of a morning is akin to running an entire marathon and deserves a Gold Medal. I am a slummy mummy. And this is my life in all its hideous glory! Please, step in, make yourself comfy - just step over that thing on the floor, I'm not quite sure what it is but I'm sure it moved a minute ago - and join me in unleashing your inner slumminess......(no, I don't think that's actually a word, I invented it, you heard it here first)......
DISCLAIMER!!
No children or animals were harmed in the making of this blog although the Author reserves the right to become mentally scarred.
This blog is purely for entertainment and fun purposes.
As the author of this blog I reserve the right to use poetic license - although all posts will be based on real events or conversations that may have taken place, information may be changed, diluted or exaggerated to protect identities and avoid as much humiliation as possible and this site should be classed as a fictional site (just so no-one sues me).
This blog is a light-hearted tongue in cheek look at normal family lives and any judgemental or negative comments will be declined! If indeed you are perfect, have never had a Mummy Fail and appear to have ended up on the wrong website, you may wish to join The Stepford Wives Association*. If you do not find it helpful or fun, no one is strapping your arms to a chair and holding your eyelids wide open, forcing you to read it.
There may be light swearing on this site, always warranted, never gratuitous.
On a last and very serious note, my children and animals are raised in a boisterous, lively and happy love-filled family environment and I love them with all my being, despite any events which would illustrate otherwise anywhere on this blog!
Oh, and everything is Copyrighted so please don't copy any part of my site. Not that you'd want to.
*The Stepford Wives Association to the best of my knowledge is a fictional group made up by me based on a certain film that may or may not contain some of the words from the fictional group. If it turns out that this is NOT actually a fictional group, oops! My bad! Please don't sue me!
I'm a 40 year old single mummy, and most definitely not a yummy one. Most mums on the school run look lovely, polished, made up, ready to begin their day after the hell of playground duty. Me? I'm usually dressed in the closest thing I can lay my hands on, with my hair wider than Crystal Tipps (Google it if you're too young to remember!), some kind of stain on my top, possibly a hole in an item of clothing and completely inappropriate outerwear. Coat in summer, cardigan in winter, I never quite get it right...
I have 3 beautiful children who light up my life and drive me insane in equal measures. They are aged 5 (let's call her Satan), 7 (this one's Mental), and 10 (he's Sensible. thank God one of them is)! I changed their names for identification purposes but also as I can't remember their names on any given day. We also have 3 cats and a dog. My house and nerves are a wreck. But they are also highly entertaining.
For the sake of not being sued I will change the names of anyone that features in my daily life and I also reserve the right to be overly dramatic about my everyday life because otherwise it would be pretty boring! Plus, I am also a drama queen.
This is not the blog of a Mum who irons all the uniforms on time, has the kids in bed on the dot, is a member of the PTA and bakes cakes for the school Christmas Fair, all whilst looking fabulous and popular! This is the blog of a Mum who takes shortcuts, who ignores dust (if you can't see it, it doesn't exist!), who is Queen of the Wet-Wipe-Wash, who thinks just actually leaving the house of a morning is akin to running an entire marathon and deserves a Gold Medal. I am a slummy mummy. And this is my life in all its hideous glory! Please, step in, make yourself comfy - just step over that thing on the floor, I'm not quite sure what it is but I'm sure it moved a minute ago - and join me in unleashing your inner slumminess......(no, I don't think that's actually a word, I invented it, you heard it here first)......
DISCLAIMER!!
No children or animals were harmed in the making of this blog although the Author reserves the right to become mentally scarred.
This blog is purely for entertainment and fun purposes.
As the author of this blog I reserve the right to use poetic license - although all posts will be based on real events or conversations that may have taken place, information may be changed, diluted or exaggerated to protect identities and avoid as much humiliation as possible and this site should be classed as a fictional site (just so no-one sues me).
This blog is a light-hearted tongue in cheek look at normal family lives and any judgemental or negative comments will be declined! If indeed you are perfect, have never had a Mummy Fail and appear to have ended up on the wrong website, you may wish to join The Stepford Wives Association*. If you do not find it helpful or fun, no one is strapping your arms to a chair and holding your eyelids wide open, forcing you to read it.
There may be light swearing on this site, always warranted, never gratuitous.
On a last and very serious note, my children and animals are raised in a boisterous, lively and happy love-filled family environment and I love them with all my being, despite any events which would illustrate otherwise anywhere on this blog!
Oh, and everything is Copyrighted so please don't copy any part of my site. Not that you'd want to.
*The Stepford Wives Association to the best of my knowledge is a fictional group made up by me based on a certain film that may or may not contain some of the words from the fictional group. If it turns out that this is NOT actually a fictional group, oops! My bad! Please don't sue me!
