The Bedroom of Doom

So I pull the covers back on my bed, and this. Why???!!! Why can't I just go and get in my own bed to sleep without an obstacle course??! And where did the Santa hat come from, the Christmas stuff is in the garage?! And I haven't seen that Legoland medal for at least 2 years!! 

Why do I have to clear a footpath to my bed every night? Shall I tell what's around my bed right now? I mean, stuff that isn't mine, that doesn't belong there and that was NOT there at approximately 6pm tonight!? Well, I'm gonna tell you! 

We have:

A pink dressing gown
A princess blanket
A portable DVD player
A glove (just the one)
A scarf
A pair of animal slippers
A board book with a steering wheel on it
50,000 Lego pieces! (Approx.)
A bottle of water 
A large cuddly Olaf
A medium Hamleys bear
A Nintendo 3DS and game
A "guess who" game board (just the one, who needs 2?!)
A meerkat
A buzz Lightyear dress up helmet
Various My Little Bloody Bastard Ponies with mangled hair!!
A tin of moshi monster figures
A large pirate ship
A different pink dressing gown
3 Ben10 toys
White colouring pencils (because why throw away useless inventions when you can store them on my bedside table?!)
A giant Minecraft sword behind my pillows

My kids seriously have too much stuff, why is it here, why? Is it not enough that the rest of the house is overtaken with small people's stuff and animals stuff?! 

This is why I don't go to bed til 2.30am. I just can't face trawling through the stuff to play "guess where Satan hid your nightie tonight Mum! Is it in your pillowcase? Stuffed inside your duvet? Or perhaps wedged down the back of the bed?!" She could at least give me a Phone a Friend option! 

Oh, just found a small grey sock...

This is like the most un-fun, shittest ever treasure hunt! And I get to deal with it daily. DAILY.

If she didn't look so sweet and angelic when she was asleep....(.....in my bed....)...

Ah well, calm will come my pretty....one day, one day soon, the bin bags will come, you won't know when, you won't know how, but it will all just disappear! Poof! Just like magic! And that day is sooner than you think....oh I cannot wait for that day....I've been stockpiling bin bags every week....there's at least 30, hidden away, all ready......

.....mwahahah! 😈 

Sleep tight my pretties! 

X