Where have I been, you may be wondering! Or of course, you may NOT be wondering. Well, I'm sure I don't need to explain the following sentence further - it was summer holidays! Ah yes, the lovely, joyful, calm, relaxing, refreshing break that is the summer holidays....
Actually, once the kids lowered their expectations and realised there would be no holidays abroad like their friends, and that we could only afford to go to the cinema once, they happily accepted it! As I have Fibromyalgia, my main summer holiday consisted of the kids staying up late and then sleeping in late, meaning I could stay in bed! Yippee! I know most Perfect Mummies were up early and doing baking and craft projects with their offspring but along with my Fibro friends and other non-perfect mums, we just bathed in the pure laziness of lying in bed, not having to get 3 children up at an ungodly hour to get ready for school, and not having to leave the house for any reason. It was great! Cuddles with the kids in bed? Check. Having random conversations about giant squids and the chance of the existence of Megalodons today? Check. Breakfast bars and crumbs in bed? Check! 3 children and 1 adult lined up in a King sized bed with their iPads on? Check! Oh yes, we know how to enjoy ourselves in this house!
After all, who wants to go and walk miles in the RAIN (the weather didn't get the memo about it being the SUMMER holidays) when you can barely walk and you can be warm and cosy and lazy at home? Whatever happened to letting your kids entertain themselves? Who said we have to take them on trips every day? Especially when your car won't start because your starter motor's gone, and even if it does start, it's been running on fumes for the last 60 miles? What's wrong with letting them sit in and actually play with the very expensive toys that they got for Christmas and birthdays?!
Not that they DID actually play with them so I sold them or gave them to charity shops. They didn't even notice!! How much money am I wasting every year?! But then what would they do if they didn't have piles of presents? Melt down and mentally scarred forever I'm guessing! Maybe I should just wrap big boxes with tiny pound shop toys in them instead? So they'd look impressive before they open them. I mean, I don't know what I'm going to do this year, they all want computer games but some of them are only available online! And as fab as Apple is, even they haven't come up with a way to wrap up an App and stick it under a Christmas Tree yet!
So my kids basically spent most of the holidays on computer games. And do you know, why the hell not eh? They've worked hard all year just so us parents can have the satisfaction of good reports and grades, so why shouldn't they relax how they want to? Id prefer them to do the things I used to do like playing in the fields and climbing trees and things, but to be honest Id just be scared that they'd either be chased by pedophiles, or fall out of a tree and impale themselves on a branch, so at least I know I kept my kids safe!!
I wonder if our parents worried about Pedophiles abducting us and impalings when we were kids and went out all day? Or if they were so grateful to be rid of us that they decided the benefits outweighed the risks? But personally, I'm rather partial to my kids (I know I'm biased but everyone knows mine are gorgeous and wonderful anyway, so that's good 😉), so I'd rather keep them under my feet. Plus they are reaching that age of pocket money.....and pocket money means chores....and chores means mini-slaves!! So all in all I enjoyed the holidays with the cuddles, the chilling out, and having drinks brought to me all day (they did charge me 10p a go though, so it's technically not slave labour, I worked out it put them on an average rate of £80 per hour which is pretty good!)
So that's where I've been. Surviving the holidays. Just like everyone else. Who has the energy to do holidays AND blog? Not me, that's who! I'm sure Perfect Mummy managed to write a full blog a day, full of baking and making things prettily with pretty children. But we just lived in our own sloth and fully enjoyed it! And it was over before we knew it. I was dreading them going back o school after all our time together. But to be fair, the ability to drop them all off and come home for a doze on the sofa isn't a BAD replacement.....and coffee with my friend means we can actually have a conversation without screaming and shouting going on (and that's just us!), so I guess I don't mind some parts of term times! But oh, the getting up at an ungodly hour, it's killing me already!! 😩
Next time, how to keep your home clean and tidy with 3 children!
I'm lying, there is no way to keep your home clean and tidy with 3 children! Ok, 5 excuses for why your house is a mess when you have unexpected visitors. Although I've now got it down to one: "excuse the state of the house, I have 3 children" pretty much covers it I think!