Take, for example, the spider that's been living in my bathroom....
Last week I heard an ear piercing scream from the bathroom and hysterical crying. Rushing (ok, slowly sauntering - I don't do rushing..) to expect to see a child with at the very least a broken limb, I find my daughter inconsolable because of an apparently HUGE spider!
Now, I'm an arachnophobic and I have nearly crashed cars (not just ones I've been driving either!) because of our evil 8 legged freaks, I mean, friends! So to hear such a scream that I've never heard from ANY of my kids, I'm assuming tarantula sized at LEAST, if not CAMEL spider sized! So this week every time I've entered the bathroom I do so armed with a rolled up newspaper and a spray bottle of industrial strength spider killer.
This evening I hear frantic calls coming from my son who was at that point sat on the toilet, which was convenient as he crapped himself when a spider rolled across the floor....he shouts down to me "it's a big one Mum!!", youngest goes rushing up to see and starts shrieking "it's huge!". So I armed myself with spider killer and a facade of confidence and no fear, and psyched myself up ready to run screaming from the bathroom. I got up there and said to my youngest, "is it the one you saw this week?!" And she said yes. I was SHITTING myself! I am bloody petrified of big spiders! I shake and freak out! So I poked my head into the bathroom (son was still sitting terrified on the loo...ho hum...) pointing into a corner.
So was this a big hairy tarantula? A Brazilian Wandering spider?!? No. It was not. Although youngest hadn't exactly exaggerated the size, what she failed to tell me was it had the body the size of a petit pois and was one of those wispy, floaty, tumbleweed style spiders that just don't do anything, aren't big, fat or hairy, and just look like a little ball of hair rolling over the floor.
So I stood on it and double checked that was the one youngest saw. It was. I have no idea how she even saw the bloody wispy little thing!!
I'm still convinced there's a giant wolf spider or Wandering Spider in there though. Bathtimes aren't quite the relaxing soak they used to be.
So it's just goes to show, my kids thought this thing was huge, and whilst I acknowledge its leg span was fairly impressive, the fact it was 99.5% air made me class it as a not very big or scary spider. But thanks for that kids! Must go and take my beta blockers now......