Chillies, Allergies & Spanish Butt Jabs!

When the only food left in the cupboard because Mummy's been too busy making the bills match the bank balance, has fresh chillies in it, cut into minuscule pieces and you eat it anyway......when you're allergic to bloody chillies - THAT!!

Itchy, stingy, itchy, stingy......that'll be a nightcap of two piriton then....😣

Is it just me, hey it probably is, but do you find yourself still surprised every time you have an allergic reaction to something even though you've always been allergic to it?

Every spring I spend a month in confusion with a 4 week cold, which of course turns out to be hayfever, which I've been suffering from since I was 14. And that was a LONG time ago! A very long long time.....oh god, I think I might cry! I'm OLD!! 😭

Oh, nope, false alarm, allergy eyes! 

My favourite allergy (sarcasm) is the one to those anti sickness pills you tuck down the side of your mouth to dissolve. I have daily anti sickness meds, but when I've got a "vomit-on", being the only person able to look after the 3 kids, 5 cats and 1 stupid dog (who eats Lego. I don't know how many calories are in Lego but I've put him on a Lego diet - i.e. put them in a different room - he's lost shit loads of weight! True fact!), and being phobic of vomiting as I've been known to pass out when vomiting and have choked on my own vomit & nearly karked it, had concussion, black eyes etc, I will do ANYTHING to not vomit. So I resort to these little dissolving pills because they carry on working even when you're actually spewing, but I have an immediate allergic reaction to them. Last time I took them I finally fell asleep with one tucked up against my gum and woke up with a rectangle mouth. I mean, my lips were SO swollen, they were no longer the cute little rosebud lips I had (hahaha yeah right.....), but we're actually so swollen they were rectangular and I couldn't open my mouth!

At least it only lasts about a week now, when it first happened my lips all split open like sausages (I'm not even exaggerating here!) and had that see-through plasma type stuff (er, plasma?) oozing out of them. I was abroad. So off we went to a Spanish hospital where I was expecting my then (now ex) father in law to waffle on in perfect Spanish to the A&E doctor, you know, what with them living there and everything, but instead managed to only get across pointing at my lips and saying "normal poco, now grande". Which to be fair I could've done but if I'd gone in I'd probably have come out minus a kidney or something. So I had to have a jab, and in Spain they clearly hate people because they don't jab them nice and gently in the arm, oh no!! They manhandle you until you're lying facedown on the medi-bed thinking "what the fuck has this got to do with my li......OW! Holy bollocking hell", because they just jab you in the arse. No warning, no "little scratch", no word of anything, they just stab and press. No gentle inserting of needles, when I mean stab I mean with the ferocity of someone stabbing the blonde girl to death in a horror film! 

Took 4 weeks for my lips to return to normal and for the massive reaction to the injected drugs which kindly came up in vicious spotty lumps all over my face so, to go. I refused to go out looking like that and the sun made it hurt so I stayed inside til they were gone. Which was 4 weeks. Which considering it was a 4 week holiday was a bit of a bummer! Scuse the pun! 😂Ah god I'm shite at jokes!

On that note, my eyes are now streaming and my lips are tingling so I'm gonna go take every antihistamine concoction that doesn't cause death or major organ damage and hope I don't wake to rectangular lips tomorrow! Because I have to leave the house! I could just slick some gloss on and go for the trout pout but unfortunately my lip skin (lip skin? Is it called that?!) cracks and means nothing can touch them. I have to drink coffee through a straw without my lips coming into contact with the heat through the straw. It's really difficult and the only time I achieve a skeletal look.

Ooh I just remembered, I need to go and order 80 toilet rolls! Not sure how that linked there apart from squashy, pillow like lips/loo rolls? Altho my lips aren't quilted and don't have puppies on them. Anyhow, must dash! Goodnight (day) my fellow Slummies!

😘👄💋 X